So, for quite some time now, I have been thinking about whether or not to continue my journey as a figure competitor or not. For those of you who have been following along, or who have read my blogs will understand how big of a decision this has been for me. My world has literally revolved around competing for almost 2 years now. When I put myself into something, I put my WHOLE self into it. I am not a gray-area type person…I’m either in or I’m out. Well, for a while now, I feel like I have been living in the gray & I just can’t stand it. I’ve tried and tried to talk myself out of this decision over and over again, but I have been lying to myself; I am stepping away from the stage, & hanging up those hooker heels.
The first question I will get asked regarding all of this will be, “Why?” Well, it’s easy; I had to do some soul searching here lately, and really just STOP & THINK about WHY I was really putting myself through this all. When I tell you that being a figure competitor is hard, I mean that with my whole being. It is literally the most difficult thing I have EVER put myself through. For the past (almost) 2 years, I have paid someone to give me a meal plan (tailored for me), as well as tell me what to workout, how to workout, when to workout, what supplements to have, and how many hours to sleep. I have followed each plan to a T. I have not missed more than 10 workout sessions in about 2 years. I have sacrificed time with my family, friends, & coworkers more times than I can count. I have been talked about, said I was selfish, self-centered, and full of myself at times as well. You know what, maybe I was those things, BUT that’s what it took to get me where I’ve been. You know that saying, “if it were easy, everyone would do it?” Ya, well, that’s freaking true. I missed out on SO many things over the past 2 years, ask any of my family if you don’t believe me – BUT although it sucked, no, I still don’t regret it. At the time, that was what needed to be done in order for me to reach my goals. I had a vision of what I wanted to accomplish, & I did that. I’m PROUD of myself for that. However, I am not in the same place as I was before. I’ve said this a few times before, and I still stand by it; the competition world is full of sex, drugs, & seduction…think I’m joking? Ask anyone who competes on a National Level & they will tell you. I can’t scroll through Instagram without seeing a woman’s butt or boobs every 10 seconds, because of them posting their “progress pictures” – ya right, you’re not fooling me, gurlllll. Anywho – it’s running rampant & that’s far from who I am. See, I was overweight – I then lost the weight & wanted to showcase my hard work – & so I entered a competition and I did that…in 4 shows. I wanted to prove not only to others, but more so to myself that I WAS ABLE to do something that difficult. I wanted to “Make a change” – I wanted to “Make a difference” in other people’s eyes. I wanted to shine. I wanted to lead. I wanted to be a motivational example. I wanted to be someone’s inspiration. THAT is what has kept me going for as long as I have. THAT is why I loved stepping on stage. It made me feel something that was lacking for me personally. When I was on stage – or even having people know that I competed, I felt “special.” I know, I know – that’s a twisted and weird thing to think, but it’s true. I liked having people who looked up to that aspect of my life. They wanted to know more about me, what I was doing, & who I was in general. I craved the ability to share my story with others, but I felt this was my ONLY avenue to attract people to my journey. I know, I understand how this all sounds. Anyway – I’ve been terrified to make this decision for a long time now, but I’m happy to say that I have FINALLY decided to step away. For some reason, being a competitor has made me out to be some person who sits high upon a pedestal in some people’s eyes and I hate that. It makes people think that I’m on some other level that they are, & that is NOT true. I began this whole blog & my fb page that goes along with it, to INSPIRE people – BUT how am I inspiring when people can’t truly relate to me at times?? My husband and I have had this same back and forth conversation about to compete or not to compete SO MANY TIMES, & we could never reach a final decision. It’s really hard to walk away from something that your life has revolved around for so long, so I really, really struggled. Sulli (my hubs) has always told me to “do what makes you happy.” Well, I’ve thought about that over & over again…questioning myself…what DOES make me happy?? Do I like stepping on stage? Ya. Do I like working out? Ya. Do I like having a structured meal plan? Ya. Do I like eating healthy 90% of the time? Ya. Do I like the results? HECK YA. Do I like all of the sacrifices? NO. Do I like secluding myself, because I would rather sit at home while our friends and family go out – just because I feel like I can’t full participate because it’s a few hours earlier than when I am supposed to eat? NO. Do I like feeling like my entire life is dictated? NO. Do I like that IF I were to taste even the tiniest bit of something, I feel so guilty that I literally could cry? NO. The list goes on…& there are a lot more NO’S than yes’s. In competitions, this is how it works, a competitor enters a show that is called a “National Qualifier” from there, if she places high enough – usually top 3, then she now is qualified for Nationals – meaning she can now enter a show at the national level – to try to win an IFPP Pro Card – meaning she is a professional in the sport, & is now able to compete at National level shows… So….Knowing all of this “do that to get to that – then enter this, place here, get that, etc…”, in my mind – I had already decided that this would probably be my last year to compete. I began to do the budget for the amount of shows that was suggested to me & Not Kidding, I almost stroked out…TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS for me to enter 4 shows…that isn’t even including my NPC Card ($120), gas to get to & from the competition locations, hotel stays, food, coach/trainer payment per month…It was INSANE. Most of you know that I recently got married as well, so can you imagine being newlyweds, both coming together as 1 with real life bills, then all of this on top of it…no freaking thank you. Nope. Nada. Too dang much. When I began to sit down & truly think about WHY I was doing this, I honestly couldn’t think about anything else besides the fact that 1) it made me feel special. 2) I want to help my husband & we want to be FIT together. 3) I like pushing myself to the limits sometimes. That’s not enough. Never once did I feel like, “Omg! I want to be a pro! I want to get to that level! I have to do this! This is my life!” Yes, before – I wanted that…BAD, but now – no, I don’t. I do not want to make competing my entire life {again.} I recently sat down with my bother in law & sister in law & we all talked about this, and I told them what I was going through. They both listened to me, gave me advice and I really let it sink in. Same thing with my mom and my mother in law as well. I listened hard to everything they had to say & I let it sink in. I thought about it over & over, slept on it, and prayed on it hard. If you were to ask me today what I truly want out of life, what I want for my husband and I…this is what I would tell you: ONE DAY (A WHILE FROM NOW!!) I want to be a mom, & I want to own our own home before that time comes. I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to help my husband reach the goals he has not only in fitness, but in life as well. I want to be a successful career woman. I want to travel. I want to take mini weekend vacations. I want to go have random girls nights with popcorn & m&ms every once in a while. I want to be able to pick up & sporadically go somewhere. I want to attend holiday gatherings with my family and ACTUALLY EAT the food. I want to experiment with new recipes. I want to workout whatever muscle I wake up {wanting} to workout. I want to not feel pressured into conforming to the seduction of a sport. I want to LIVE. I want to help other people. I want to show people how to live a BALANCED life. I want to be mentally strong. I want to bake cookies with my niece and nephew & be able to have a taste, without making myself sick over the fact that I “cheated.” I want to not freak out if I can’t make it to the gym one day, because its not going to be the end of the world. I want to be inspired to workout and eat right, not because I HAVE to, but because I WANT to. I want it to be fun again. I want to feel special because of WHO I AM, NOT because of WHAT I DO. Basically, competing has been awesome, but I’m ready to start a new adventure. I am going to continue to kick ass in the gym and eat healthy, but don’t freak if I have a HUMAN moment and actually go & buy myself that chocolate covered donut with sprinkles…MODERATION is ok when you don’t have to step on a stage half naked in hooker heels & a bikini. I’m going to continue to post things & even write on here (maybe more now) to show you all what’s going on with me and in my life, & I hope you’ll still want to follow along. I just truly want people to know that no, you do not have to compete to love the gym life or the healthy lifestyle…you can be human and still love all of those things as well. Remember me saying I’m all in or all out?? Well, I just feel like I’ve had it wrong for a bit & I’m sorry for that – If you’re competing, sure that 1 bite most certainly could make a difference & you NEED to be {all in}, but If you’re just trying to live your life healthy, yet still have a little fun, then no, that 1 bite – or that 1 donut is not the end of the world. Yes, it will slow your progress, but it is not the end of the world (as it always has been in my mind.) The other question I know I’ll get a lot of will be, “do you regret it?” Answer: Not for one second. I’m FREAKING PROUD of what I accomplished. It’s taught me so much about myself. I’ve seen muscles on my body that I didn’t even know existed. I’ve pushed past limits that I thought I never could. I proved to myself that I did have what it takes, not just once, but 4 times. I came. I saw. I conquered. Now – It’s time to conquer some more stuff. I feel like there is just sooooo much more to life than walking around lean as all get out. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to be fit, & I WILL be, however…life only comes around 1 time, & I don’t want to live my life having only said, “oh, no thanks – it’s not on my meal plan” forever. Every now & then, I’m going to try to allow myself a little freedom. As I told Sulli, I’m not living to be a figure competitor for the rest of my life…I’m living to be HEALTHY. I want to be a positive role model for girls in general, but especially ones into fitness, because all they seem to be seeing these days is the more skin you show, the more popular you become & that’s messed up in my opinion. I want to start showing yall some of the foods I’m eating, exercises I’m doing, and cardio routines…as well as share some awesome pictures of cheat meals that I’ll be having. As freaking scared as crap as I was to share this information with all of you, I feel you deserve it. Yall deserve to see that I’m human too & that I screw up just as often. PLEASE, if you want to ask me anything at all about any of this – please shoot me over an email ([email protected]), or comment on this post, because I would LOVE to hear from you. I hope none of you are upset or disappointed in me, but if you are – I’m sorry. It’s time I stopped lying to myself, start leading by example, and start living life a little. I won’t “fake it till I make it” – I will remain real and honest. So, here’s to 2014…It’s been a good one, but 2015 will be a whole new ride!!
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I want to be honest – open & honest. A lot of change has gone on in my life over the last couple of months. Mid-August, I moved from my parents’ house, to my own house with my {NoW} Husband. Sept. 27th, we said our “I Do’s” and made it official in front of our closest family & friends. It was truly the happiest time in my life thus far. I soaked up every single ounce of that “break” and took off of the gym for about 3 weeks…1 week due to being so sick RIGHT before the wedding, 1 the week of the wedding, and 1 the week after the wedding when I went on my week long Honeymoon to Grande Antiqua.
Truthfully, during that time - I failed in the gym. I failed at dieting/eating healthy, the way I knew I should have. I had ZERO motivation to get myself into the gym while sick, or to force fish or chicken down my throat in order to “maintain” a weight during the very end of the Wedding Week, only to go on my Honeymoon and blow it all – because, let’s be honest, we all know that there was NO WAY that I wasn’t going to enjoy my Honeymoon to the FULLEST. Sulli and I had the time of our lives on that vacation. From the time our plane landed, we turned off our phones, and as soon as we got the resort, they both went into the safe – turned off – not to be bothered with. That was HANDS DOWN the BEST decision we made. It allowed us to just turn off the world. I remember being so happy, so care-free, so “I don’t give a crap about anything” – but in a PoSiTiVe way lol It was great. We had a mixed drink in our hands at {all} times (I never usually drink – but omg, they tasted so yummy!!), and we ate…and ate…and ate…and then, we ate some more!! The vacation was amazing and I realized once we got back that we both really needed it. Like I said earlier, I felt like during that time, all I cared about was “living in the moment – enjoying every little bit of this “once in a lifetime” moment – which is perfectly fine, I don’t regret it – that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that during that time, I lost sight of goals that I had and would STILL have once we were back to reality. Once we returned home, I emailed my coach with progress pictures (which I was SOOOO embarrassed to send) and awaited the dreaded response. Thankfully, there was no being harsh on me – my new coach, who I recently switched to, was super supportive of taking that time off to enjoy it, but now that I was back – it was time to work. I started the new plan up and I kid you not, within about 4 days, I felt totally and completely better!! I felt like I could breathe again and I didn’t feel so lazy like I had been the previous weeks. I can try my best to talk to and motivate people all dang day, but what about me?? What if I needed motivation?? Luckily, I’ve been through this before, so I knew it was possible – Yet, to be honest, I felt HUGE! Gross! Nasty looking! Fat! Who wants to feel that way?! I sure as heck don’t. So…I looked at those HORRIBLE pictures that I had to email my coach and instead of getting upset over them & the way I looked, I just began to really crunch down – to reallllly think about why I started competing and started living this lifestyle in the first place. I sat down with my husband, who has also switched coaches & is now on the same team as me, and we discussed this all in great detail and we came to the conclusion – that It’s simply who we are. We are workers. We are not lazy. We are DRIVEN. We want to WIN. WE WANT CHANGE. Still, even after this talk, I felt A LOT better – but still, something was lacking…I couldn’t figure out why in the world I just didn’t care before…Then, one day after going OVER & OVER the whole situation – I finally realized it. Basically I’m and all in or all out type of girl – black or white…there are no Maybe’s with me or any Gray areas at that. When I am faced with those situations – I typically lose it…I fail. That’s exactly what happened to me during that “off” time. I had my Wedding shower and was off of my meal plan that weekend, came back from that weekend to get BACK on plan…then had my Bachelorette weekend where I was OFF of my diet yet again – came back & would be back on for 2 weeks, then would be OFF again for the Wedding & Honeymoon…you know what all that sounds like to me?? GRAY AREAS!! EW!! I crumbled. I let it have the best of me. I started to doubt everything. Every decision I made was around what I wanted {at the moment}, not what I wanted for my future!! In that moment – the moment that I realized what I had let ruin me and my mindset, I was done with the excuses. I am SO much better than that. There is NO excuse that will ever outweigh the feeling I get from stepping on stage – not even just stepping on stage, but the sheer fact that I DESERVE TO BE THERE. I’ve been at an all-time low before, and I’ve also been at an all-time high. I’ve seen myself the heaviest I have ever been, and the leanest I have ever been. I remember the feelings and emotions that came with both, and I will NOT be that fat/depressed girl, EVER again. This GRAY area that I went though was extremely rough on me, because I felt like I lost – Like I was a failure. I was very quiet on any type of social media, I wore baggy gym clothes when and IF I went to work out, meals were not a priority to me – not healthy ones any way, and I just wore big clothes or flowy tops to hide my insecurities. I started to have doubts in myself & my ability to come back from this. How could I miss 3 weeks…how could I not care and eat whatever?? To some people, you won’t get this…you’ll say oh, it’s only 3 weeks…blah blah blah, but to ME, this was a HUGE {MeNtAl} setback for me. Not sooooo bad physically in the way I looked, but more so in the way I thought about life, myself, & goals in general. From this day, until the day I got my new meal plan…I started thinking about everything in a new way. This is not a time for me to be whiney and sad. Not a time to get depressed about some stupid # on the scale or the way my abs aren’t showing how I’d like them to. It’s not a time to be lazy or to make excuses of it being too hard, or taking too long. THIS IS A PLATFORM FOR ME…A COMEBACK. It’s a way to show you all that even people who seem to be such Bad Asses on the outside still break down sometimes – they still have doubts in themselves – they still want to make excuses & they still have that LOUD voice in their head, YELLING at them to “Just Give Up!!” The difference between those excuses and myself is that small, tiny, quiet voice that whispers…”You can do it. Push a little harder. Time will pass anyway, make the most of it. You were born a winner – you are a Leader.” When those YELLS of negativity are drowned out by the faint whispers of positivity…THAT is when the CHANGE takes place. YOU have the choice on who and what you will listen to…Choose wisely. Think about WHY you are doing this in the first place. I’ll be the first to tell you, if you’re doing this for the wrong reason, it won’t last…But if you have a goal in mind, a will, a reason that makes you want to be better outside AND inside…then, you will succeed. Truthfully, I was extremely nervous to share all of this with yall…nervous to let you in to a Weak Moment in this journey I’m on, but I feel like it may resonate with some of you, and may even make a difference or a positive impact on some others – so, as said before…this is me. I am human. I make mistakes. No, I’m not always a Bad Ass with meals or in the Gym, but I am NO quitter. I am Strong and I am Determined. Watch me. I’m going for it. I know it’s been a while since I checked in on here, but for some reason, tonight is the night that I decided to pick the laptop back up. Maybe it’s because I got home at a decent hour tonight, or maybe it’s because I’m bored –but I like to think it’s actually because someone else out there needs to hear/see something that I have to say.
As far as what’s been going on – I’m still training for my next competition, which is on May 3rd - 36 days out, but who’s counting? Lol I’m also in the middle of planning my wedding. Basically, the majority of my days begin around 4:30am – I wake up, roll out of bed, throw on clothes, weigh to check-in weight (only certain days), go to the gym, jump on the devil machine (yes, I’m still climbing my heart out), knock out thighs & abs, then head home, shower, have breakfast, get dressed, & drive to work. I work a full time job, 8am – 5pm, literally, as soon as it’s 5pm, I’m shutting it down & heading to Monster Gym to train with my Probody4her coach, Sandy. I train for at least 30 minutes, then finish up anything I missed from the morning gym session, & then I’m out. The day doesn’t stop there though lol After I leave the gym, I try to go get my tan on at Cali’s Tan (BEST SALON EVER!), then I’m back home to shower, eat dinner, unpack, & re-pack my meals for the next day. Basically, as you can see – I’ve still got a jam packed schedule, but now, throw wedding planning all on top of that. I remember before Sulli ever proposed, I told my mom, that whenever it was time to get married, that I thought I would just take that time completely OFF from competing in order to plan & enjoy every bit of it…Well, we all see how that turned out lol Truth is, I HAVE to be on the go. Seriously, if I’m not, or if I have like a whole day or two of doing nothing, I can’t stand it. It literally drives me insane. Take last Sunday for instance, I was home, well rested, enjoying my “rest” when suddenly a thought came to mind; While I was sitting there with my feet all propped up, watching TV, some other girl (probably one that will be competing against me at The Ronnie Coleman Classic OR Team Universe) is probably busting her butt, trying to get to the top - POOF! There went my “rest” for the day, I was up, doing leg raises/crunches, cleaning, thinking, preparing food, you name it – I was on it. That’s just how I work. I am NOT a watcher. I am a DOER! Anyway, my training has been going awesome. I’ve definitely put on a LOT of size during the off-season for this year’s contests; however, I’ve also made some mistakes. In my off-season, there were definitely times that I feel I was a little too “relaxed” & I could’ve/should’ve been doing much, much more – however, what’s done is done & I’ve moved on from that. Sandy has been great with me, & her and Nate have been guiding my body down “Lean-Zone” aka, dropping my body fat percentage to get the stage-ready look. Again, this year during prep, my weight has been giving me trouble. It gets to these points where it is just completely & totally stuck. It’s EXTREMELY frustrating! I mean literally, I do everything 110% - I’m talking NO CHEATING whatsoever – not even a crumb or extra drop of mustard – NOTHING. I workout with all I’ve got. Knowing this, knowing I’m busting my butt to get my weight & body fat percentage down, & seeing the scale not “recognize” my hard work – well, quite frankly, it pisses me off to no end. How bad? Well, let’s just say, more times than none, it’s enough to ruin my morning completely. See, I only weigh-in on days that I need to report my weight to my trainers & who wants to disappoint their coaches? NOT ME. But you know what? I’m NOT disappointing them & after a talk with Sandy about all of that one night, I finally got it. See, the point is, my trainers & nutritionist KNOW what they’re doing – THEY know exactly what my body needs & how it works - & let me tell you, EVERYONE’S body works differently – that’s why the question “what do you eat to look that way?” annoys the ever loving poop outta me. What I eat is for ME, not for YOU. Each person needs their own plan, TAILORED TO THEM. Sorry, end rant. So…like I was saying before, they know what they’re doing- my ONE job…the ONLY thing I need to worry about it doing EXACTLY as they tell me. Struggles with that.. Well, like I said earlier, I’m a DOER – I’m also a FIXER, when I feel like something is wrong (even if it’s like 2 people mad at each other), I automatically assume responsibility for it & try to work it out – I try to FIX it…pretty sure that comes from my mom. Anyway, it can be a blessing or a curse I guess. I say this because this is my battle. I can’t stand to see things go the opposite way I THINK they should be going, or at MY pace. I hate it. I’m NOT a patient person by any means, and I’m telling you now – I know why I struggle. I’ve had some really down days lately (not anything like the last prep, but still tough). There’ve been days when I thought about not even going through with the May show & only doing Team Universe in July. There’s been days where I thought (again) that putting myself through this grueling process again was completely & totally insane. There’ve been days that I’ve snapped or broke down towards the MOST SUPPORTIVE person in my life, my fiancé –Sulli. There have even been days that I was completely & totally consumed by jealousy of girls who were at a different level than me, who were leaner than me, further along than me, but then it all stopped. The negativity began to actually shed some light instead. One morning, I was just literally in the worst mood ever, Sulli could tell by my text messages, & I could tell he wasn’t “feeling” my mood. In the nicest way possible, he told me that I was basically upset about the scale, was allowing it to ruin my day, that we’d been through all of this before, & that he could only say so much to help me. Immediately, I was on the defense…How dare he say that – Doesn’t he get it – How can he not see that I’m killing myself & seeing nothing in return…that’s when it happen…a voice in my head spoke to me & said 4 small words that have REMAINED in my head every morning since, as soon as my eyes open; “God is in control.” Whoah. I thought, ummm…okay?? Why in the word is this in my head? Why, every single morning, as soon as my eyes open, do these same 4 words immediately come to mind? That’s how God works in me. I’m not a super religious person by any means, and to me, it’s more about your relationship w/ God than what religion someone is, but anyway…I can’t count the times that God has placed random scripture on my heart, and I google it (I don’t just have a bible w/ me everywhere I go), and it’s EXACTLY what I needed to hear. One time, a long time ago, I was going through a whole lot of stuff, & my mom told me, “Just pray for a sign, Mandie.” I remember her walking out of my room& I just thought, “She’s crazy!” However, I did what she said – about 30 minutes later, something was in my head – Jeremiah 29:11. Up until that point, I had no clue what this was – or what it meant…Now, that is my ALL-TIME, FAVORITE! In fact, it’s on my home page of this blog. Anyway, all that was said because of this, God knows the plans he has for me – he will never harm me – he will prosper me. HE is in control – NOT ME. So, why worry about tomorrow? Why stress out about my weight? Why make myself miserable all day long when in fact, I’ve done nothing wrong –there’s no reason – none at all. This competition prep is not different from the last in the fact that Sulli still shocks me on a daily basis with his overflow of support. On days that I’m being a Negative-Nancy, he’s always there, telling me to be thankful, because it could always be so much worse. He’s right – absolutely right. Why do I have any reason to complain – because I can’t eat certain things? Because my weight isn’t dropping at the speed I want? Because girls are being catty & talking crap about me? Because “haters” make rude comments? Uhhh…NO! What I’m going through is nothing compared to some of the stuff others face. Speaking of, I feel HONORED to be able to do these competitions in the first place. These journeys teach me so, so much about myself & who I am as a person. I’ve learned my strengths & weaknesses, & I’ve found a true passion – what I believe I was meant to do, & that is to POSITIVELY impact the lives of others. From day 1 of this blog, I vowed to be 110% honest & hold back nothing, so I won’t. I don’t want to live the “Facebook life” – you know, the one where everyone is always so, so perfect in every aspect of their life? Hahahaha Ya, NOT me by ANY means! I struggle, I have crappy days, I get upset, I cry, I whine, I moan, I want to throw in the towel at times, but then I remember…I SHALL NOT, FLAG NOR FAIL – I will NOT surrender. I will NOT fail. It’s NOT an option. I can be thrown down, ran over, & made to feel like nothing, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter…because I have STRENGTH - & I know where that strength comes from; The man upstairs. I’m so blessed that God has chosen me to go along this journey, that he placed me with a good person on the inside & out to be my trainer, that in addition to Sandy - even my posing instructor, Kim is a God-fearing woman as well, that he cares about me & my well-being, that he says I don’t need to worry about anything, because he’s got it all covered, that GOD is in control – NOT ME. For now, I’m learning to be more positive, to be happy, to work as hard as I possibly can, & do as much as I possibly can in order to achieve my goals & reach my dreams, but also, I’m learning to give the steering wheel over to God. Giving up control is so freaking scary & super intimidating, but I know that I’m in the best of hands. I don’t know where this journey’s going to lead me, but I know that I’ve got to learn to let go. I need to focus on what I DO have control over & that’s it. Trust the process. Love the process. Know that I will get to where I need to be. Know that along the way, many others will have the possibility to make a positive change of their own. Maybe I write these things for me, to clear my mind, or maybe I write this stuff, because I want to be real w/ you all – to show you that I struggle just like you, but that I WILL OVERCOME…that you can also. I’m beginning to make positive routines an every-day thing for me & I encourage you to do the same. For instance, I know I’m usually in a good mood throughout the day when I get in a morning workout, so I’ve began that. I also down loaded an app on my iPhone that sends me a scripture each morning while I’m getting ready. I also purchased a daily devotional that I take about 5 minutes per day to read & think about. These things may sound dumb or funny to you, but whatever lol It’s for me & it’s done a WORLD of good for me. I’ve got 36 days before I step on stage for the Ronnie Coleman Classic, and I want to be ready in every way possible; physically, mentally, & emotionally & I will. There’s no question about it. I WILL. I SHALL NOT, FLAG NOT FAIL. Jeremiah 29:11 I know, I know…I’ve been MIA for a WHILE now…well, don’t worry…I’M BACK! Lol
A whole lot of stuff has gone on since my last post on here, and I have been more busy than ever. Since the last post, I have been blessed with a new job and am now part of an awesome company. I got engaged (you already know this), and I began the preparations for planning our wedding (STRESS CENTRAL). Lastly, I began my off season. A new job brings a lot of stress. There are new people to meet, new and more responsibilities dealt my way, and new challenges that I am faced with each and every day. I was extremely scared and nervous about taking a new step, and making a huge career change…especially all while trying to successfully go through my first off-season from competing. In my interview, I asked the recruiter if I got the job, if it would be a problem that I eat so many meals during the day, because I had to eat them no matter what. Lol Luckily, everyone I work with is really cool, and I’m able to eat my meals whenever I need to. On my first day on the job, I dreaded when it would become 12pm…lunch time for everyone, but me. I remember feeling totally secluded and alone that day, because everyone left the office and went out to eat. I texted my fiancé, Sulli and told him what was going on. He drove to Monster Gym parking lot and met me, since it was only like 2 minutes away from my job. Sulli climbed up in my Jeep and looked at me and asked me what was wrong, I explained to him everything that had happened and that sometimes I just “hate having to be on a meal plan all the time, because I miss out on so much and I feel all alone.”He talked with me for a long time, told me not to worry, told me I didn’t “have” to be on a meal plan-but that I had goals and in order to achieve them I needed to eat right. He knew all of the exact things to say to me to relax me, calm me down, and let me know that no, I wasn’t alone….why? Because I have him. Sulli said something to me that day that I’ll never forget though; he told me to just wait and watch what happens. He told me that before long, I would end up inspiring people that I work with, and they would start becoming interested in what I do. I think it’s safe to say that Sulli was right…shhh, don’t tell him lol Everyone I work around has asked me about competing, about how hard I workout, and have even started making changes of their own. I have coworkers who have started working out again, some who have begun drinking a gallon of water per day, and even one who began a meal plan. WOW. Every single one of these people have said to me “you inspire me.” “You inspire me.” I will never get used to hearing that. In the past 2 months, I’ve gotten random texts and messages from people who I have never or hardly ever speak to, telling me that I inspire THEM. WHAT?! I had someone tell me, “Mandie, you really don’t realize this, but God really blessed you with the ability to inspire people.” I don’t get it. I don’t get why I of all people could inspire anyone, honestly, but I’ve also come to the conclusion, that if that is the case, then I have to continue…I can’t give up. Diet: Since the last post, I had a major diet change; I switched to a higher calorie/carb meal plan to begin the off-season process. This increase in calories and carbs is designed to help a competitor build muscle in the off-season, that way, when it’s IN-SEASON and time to shred, the competitor will have bigger muscles that the last show that he/she competed in. It’s an ever going cycle. To me, I was extremely scared about the off season. Don’t get me wrong, off-season meal plans are awesome with all of the carbs – I felt stronger than ever in the gym – and I was never really hungry – also still got 1 cheat meal per weekend. HOWEVER, it can really take a toll on you. This was my first off season, and it was mentally a little tough for me to handle. I’ve always had a complex about my appearance and weight, and after having such a huge weight drop last year, the last thing I wanted to do after stepping on stage was to gain weight, but that’s what happens. That’s what every single competitor does, although we would all love to look stage-ready and have that super low body fat percentage ALL of the time – it’s just not healthy. So, this off season, I struggled with my weight big time, mentally. I stepped on stage at 106lbs. My trainer and nutritionist told me that for my height and body structure, that my off-season/normal weight would range from 115-120lbs and they were absolutely right. My weight stayed right In that range the entire off-season. I didn’t like being that weight, because I though that was a step backwards from where I had come from, but I was wrong. Even in high school, weighing 120lbs, I was confident and knew my body looked good – HOWEVER, in high school, I was “skinny fat.” I was 120lbs of just skinny, no muscle definition really at all. That’s not the case now though, my body has so so so much muscle now, that being 120lbs WITH muscle is a HUGE accomplishment! The Scale: Girls always get so freaking hung up with the scale and wanting to weigh a certain amount…STOP! The scale doesn’t define you! Besides, wouldn’t you want to weigh more and be toned and fit, with some muscle verses being a stick figure and weight a super low amount?! I don’t know about you, but I would choose the 1st scenario ANY DAY! What’s to come: So, because I have SO much going on lately, I will be getting on here to blog when I can –it may be once a week, maybe a little more, or a little less. I’ve been posting more on my facebook page (www.facebook.com/makingchangeswithmandie) so if you want to follow me more, definitely go that route. EXCITING NEWS: I have again teamed up with Probody4her at Monster Gym for competiion training! My next show will be May3rd,2014 – The Ronnie Coleman Classic. I am currently 68 days out from that show as of today!! As of today, I have begun the lean down/shedding process (MY FAVORITE!!) and I can’t wait to start seeing the weekly changes that are about to occur…BRING IT ON!! I have a brand new outlook and mindset for this show, and I’m going ALL THE WAY. I feel that I am stronger mentally, emotionally, and physically going into this show prep than I was with the last one. I am also starting way more ahead muscle-wise this time around as well –which is AWESOME! That means that for the Ronnie Coleman Classic, I should be bringing an even BETTER stage body than before! OH YA! After the Ronnie Coleman Classic, I will have a few weeks until the BIG SHOW…TEAM UNIVERSE, NPC NATIONALS!! This is the ULTIMATE show for me right now and the BIG winners will be announced there. Basically, I will be leaning down over the next few weeks for Ronnie Coleman Classic, then stay down for a while until Team Universe. What does this mean? It means that crap just got serious…REAL SERIOUS. It means that I’m going for blood this year…I’ve got new goals, bigger dreams, and in a nut shell, I’m READY to make these dreams my REALITY! Workouts will be harder, meal plans will be more strict, and goals will be bigger…that’s ok…I’VE GOT THIS! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 As most of you now know, I can’t seem to sit still. Whether it is physical, or goal-wise - I am constantly trying to find
a way to better myself, or do something with my time – other than the rare occasion when I actually have time to rest and relax. Lol So…with that being said, I created a FaceBook page to go along with my blog, so if you haven’t checked it out – do so! I will post the info at the bottom of today’s blog. The last time I wrote on here was a little over a week ago, so I wanted to catch you all up on what has been going on. So, Wednesday of last week, after work, I went to meet Sulli at Monster Gym. We did a bunch of heavy back exercises, and oh my gosh – I was sore for like 3 days afterwards. Being sore = knowing you kicked butt in the previous work out! Mission accomplished! Wednesday evening, I began Thanksgiving cooking with my mom. We had so much fun and snacked all night on the goodies lol Pretty much, all weekend was kind of an off-weekend for me meal-plan wise. I allowed myself that time to enjoy every minute of Thanksgiving, and all that was involved in it. I spent time with mine and Sulli’s family, and we had a blast. I ate, and ate, and ate…and no, I’m not ashamed of that. That following weekend was my mom’s birthday, so I took her out to the Aquarium and we ate some more lol Then, the splurging was OVER. Truthfully, I was a little worried to share that information with yall for many reasons; 1) I feel like I have put this added pressure on me by sharing my information with yall. 2) I know that a lot of people are reading this, waiting for me to either mess up OR to be inspired to do better – and what good will it do people looking to be inspired to know that I ate like crap all weekend? However, at the end of the day…again, I promised to be 100% honest on this blog, and that’s truthfully what I did. I am human. I am not always “balls to the wall” or 100% into healthy eating. I have cheat meals – once a week actually…unless it’s a couple months out from a competition. In fact, Mexican food is on the menu for this coming weekend’s cheat meal. When I say I have a cheat meal, I mean that I eat all but 1 of my instructed meals, and I substitute the ONE cheat meal for that ONE “clean” meal. Not that difficult. Also, I sometimes look at it as a reward system…If I do good all week, then I get to reward myself on the weekend. Try it out – I bet it helps. Sunday morning was December 1st and that’s when I decided to get back into the gym and meal planning, since Thanksgiving had ended. All up until Thanksgiving day/weekend, I had been on track with my meals and working out – so don’t think that I just randomly quit everything and then picked back up on Sunday – that’s not how it worked. Sunday morning, I stepped onto the scale, dreading the number that would appear and how much more work I had just piled onto my plate (no pun intended)…but much to my surprise, my weight was literally only 1lb more than it was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. After eating all of that food, I had only gained 1lb. Now – this is NOT going to be the case for everyone and honestly, I’m kind of shocked that it was the case with me this time. What I can conclude from this is that 1) I must have gotten rid of a lot of water-weight and 2) my metabolism must be going crazy. The fact that this happened (this time) is NOT an excuse to eat like crap all of the time, because there is no guarantee that it will come off this easily again. After seeing the weight, I threw on my gym clothes and headed out for the gym. I began an Ab Challenge for the month of December, so Sunday was the first day (you can find this on the FB page). I knocked out 40 minutes of cardio, completed the ab challenge, and worked outer and inner thighs. Monday morning, I was to the gym by about 5:20am and did the same routine as Sunday morning. Monday afternoon, after work, I went to Monster Gym for Round 2! Monday, I worked out chest and triceps. I did a number of different types of pushups, and dumbbell bench presses, and then finished up with a heavy tricep routine. I swear I was sore before I even left the parking lot, and today…well…it’s not much better lol It’s worse. Again…sore = did WORK!! This morning, I was at the gym again and did my normal morning routine, and I have another date with the gym this afternoon. I’ve been completely on point with my diet and have been having a lot of fun with the new FaceBook page. I created the page last Friday afternoon, and it already has 400 likes so far! WOW! I hope that it keeps growing! I love hearing that people have completed their daily challenge and are following along. I like hearing about people’s journey and their struggles, and how they are overcoming their weight loss/fitness battles. Believe it or not, that inspires ME! On days that I feel tired or weak, or just flat out lazy…I remember that people are watching. I have to do this! I have to stay on track, not only for myself, but for all of the other people out there who aren’t strong enough to believe in themselves just yet. I will not let you down. I will not let MYSELF down! I’m enjoying the off-season so far, and I really enjoy the 1 cheat meal per week, too lol I know that the off-season is no time to mess up though. Off-season is just as important, and there is still a lot of work to be done – so that’s what I’ll be doing. Working on it. Each day. No, it hasn’t gotten any easier. Yes, I have temptations DAILY. Yes, I want to cheat ALL THE TIME! I would rather sleep in an extra hour than to crawl out of bed and go to the gym for fasted cardio – but I don’t give in. I suck it up and I get it done. Who am I hurting most if I don’t give it my all…ME! I know my worth…I know my goals…I have plans on making my DREAM a REALITY and without hard work and sacrifice, I will never be able to accomplish it. Know what you want and GO AFTER IT. Stop making excuses and stop giving in. Press forward and work towards your goal! Thanks for reading today, and if you haven’t yet, go like the FB page to get more involved!! J www.facebook.com/makingchangeswithmandie.com So, now that I have my first competition under my belt, a lot of people have been wanting to know what now…what’s my next
step? First, let me break down what me placing 3rd means…Since I placed top 5 at the Texas State Naturals competition, it qualified me to compete at Team Universe in New Jersey, NY on July 4thweekend of 2014. Team Universe is a Pro Qualifier, meaning that competitors can earn their Pro Card at this show – my MAIN goal! Now, in order to earn a Pro Card, from what I understand (still learning about stuff as I go), each 1stand 2nd place winner from each height class earns a Pro Card. So…since July 4th weekend 2014 is quite a ways away, I plan on doing another local – Texas show in May of 2014, just to get on stage once more before nationals. As of right now: Although the shows are months and months away, the off-season is still crucial. In the off-season, my main goal is to build muscle…lean muscle. A lot of competitors feel that off-season is “bulk”season…some of them consume a ton of carbs in order to “grow” yet they don’t do the amount of work in the gym that needs to be done in order to compensate for all of the carbs they’ve taken in…meaning that end up gaining weight, not true muscle. The term “you’ve gotta eat big to grow big” isn’t going to help that much if you’re eating more, but not lifting more…Thankfully, my nutritionist, Nate, knows exactly what he’s doing! He’s given me an off-season meal plan to follow, plus I am allowed a cheat meal on the weekends. Sandy and Nate gave me a weight range that I need to stay in, and I’ve been making sure that I am right there in-between the two numbers. Workouts for me have not stopped, ever since I returned from vacation, I have been back to the normal grind of two-a-days. I do two-a-days 90% of the time, and then there’s the other 10% when I get the full workout completed early in the morning before work. Working out in off-season is a lot of fun, because you get to lift heavy! Heavy is the way that Sulli taught me to lift when I first started working out. The reps are lower, but the weight is a lot higher and I love that! I’m training on my own for now, and then I will start back up training sessions with Sandy in January. That way I can be monitored through the building process and have a pretty good head start on next season. Speaking of next season; For some reason, I get the feeling that a lot of people expected me to just stop after my first competition, or to“fall off” once it was over, but that’s far from who I am and what I’m all about. I even have some people who don’t understand why I’m on an off-season meal plan, when I could just “eat clean” and workout since the competitions are so far away…well, because I don’t want to do that number one, and number two, I know what I’ve gotta do to get where I want to be. However, I can understand to an extent…off-season is the one time that it is ok to not be so incredibly strict, meaning no, it’s not going to kill me if I have something I’m not supposed to. Honestly, knowing that this is a not so “incredibly strict” time is rather confusing to me though. I’m a black or white person, not gray…meaning that I’m either for something or against it – all in or not in at all…being “in-between” messes with my head. I stick with what I’m comfortable with, and I do what I feel is best – that can be different for everyone, but for me, I know things will get strict again, so I might as well take the “leniency” that I was given for this short amount of time. As long as I’m building muscle by lifting heavy, pushing myself, sticking to my meal plan, and getting a little bit of cardio in, then I’m good. The holidays are fast approaching, and I will enjoy those moments with my family and I will participate in the baking…and eating too! Lol I will enjoy myself, and then I will work hard to recover from it…that’s the cycle when cheat meals are thrown into the mix. I’ve also been asked a lot lately what is pushing me in the off season… To be completely and totally honest, sometimes it’s hard to push myself. I literally despise cardio right now, so every single morning, I MAKE MYSELF crawl out of bed, change in to my gym clothes, and get it done. It’s one of those things that I dread before I get there to do it and while I’m doing it, but I AWLAYS feel better after I’ve got it done. Kind of like a put up or shut up type situation. I’m going to whine and moan about it, I’m going to hate every freaking minute of it, but in the end, I will always feel accomplished…so I might as well suck it up and get it done. Weight training on the other hand, is freaking FUN to me; breaking myself down and physically exhausting myself makes me happy. It lets me know that I am capable of much more than I think. I get to prove to myself in those times to not be scared of what could happen, but rather to go for it and see what does happen. I get to shock myself on a daily basis, reaching new goals, and going harder than I ever believed that I could…then, I get to walk out of the gym feeling CONFIDENT in myself! I’ve been making up a lot of my workouts as I go, and believe it or not, I get a lot done that way. What’s really helping push me though is my own progress. I still am kind of in shock about everything that happened…about my weight loss, my journey, placing 3rd, and qualifying for nationals…but I just keep thinking to myself that if I came that far last year, starting out completely and totally out of shape, then I can’t even imagine where I could be at come stage-time next year! THAT freaking pumps me up! THAT is what pushes me! YOU have to find what drives YOU…In life, if you aren’t working toward something, if you aren’t doing what truly makes YOU happy, then what are you doing? I’ve never been one to be content after reaching a goal, and somehow, someway, I always seem to find something else to strive for…but I love that about me, that says a lot about my character, and I finally realize that. With the weekend approaching, I’m extremely excited to focus on spending time with my family, and my fiancé! (Still so excited to be able to say that lol) I was at the gym this morning by 5:10am, and got a great leg workout in, so I’m off for the weekend! I hope you all have a great weekend, and are spending time with your loved ones! P.S. Thank you all for continuing to follow along, it really means a lot to me! Please spread the word about my journey and my blog, and if you aren’t following me on Instagram…go find me and follow me…NOW!! :) Username is Mandie12W Happy Friday, everyone! Well…Like I said in the post yesterday, I’ve had quite a lot going on since I left for the competition on Nov.1. Saturday night after the competition, my real vacation began. I had already decided that since I had been working so hard, and since I had been on a meal plan since January, that I would allow myself a full week and a half off– off from working out and off from any diet. To some, this may sound crazy, or may not make sense, but to me, it was well-deserved and needed and no, I do not regret it. Saturday night on the way home from the competition, I snacked on some home-made treats that my mom had made me, then Sulli took me to Whataburger – where I had a chicken strip dinner (YUMMM!!), then I got a m&m mcflurry for dessert. My tummy was sooo pleased! Lol Sunday morning, after having an AWESOME breakfast made by Sulli’s mom, Sulli and I headed out for Reno, NV for the World’s WABDL powerlifting meet. From the time we got to the airport, until the time we got back home – four days later, Sulli and I heard comments made about us. Good ones lol The TSA guy at the airport asked Sulli, “Hey man, are you a UFC fighter?” lol Then some girl said I looked like a “bad ass.” As we walked by a group of women in our hotel, a lady said, “oh my gosh, did you see how big that guy’s arms were?!” lol The whole entire trip we heard comments like this! It was hilarious! Sulli and I spent the first couple of days of the trip hanging out, relaxing, and exploring. We decided to rent a car and we drove to Lake Tahoe. Sulli of course took the scenic route, and wow, the drive was beautiful. The route went up through the mountains, and passed a ski resort. We were both freaking out, because there was snow everywhere! We both are very adventurous and love to explore, so Sulli pulled over and we hiked a little, took some pictures, and played in the snow. Although the snow was super fun, we were not prepared for that weather! Lol Jeans and a hoodie doesn’t really cut it in the snow! We jumped back in the car, cranked up the heater, and drove on a little further until we reached Lake Tahoe, and crossed the state line into California. Lake Tahoe, hands down, was the most beautiful place that I have ever seen. It was breathtaking! After we had explored all that we could for the day, we headed back to Reno. Sulli’s meet was on the 3rd day that we were in there, but the meet was going on all week – the older people lifted the day before he did, so we snuck in to watch for a while. Now, when I say “older” I’m talking like over 70 years of age! These people were awesome to watch! Lol I met a little old man who goes by the name, Doc. He was 19 days short of being 92 years old! 92! JEEEZ! He benched 120lbs and I just loved him! Lol Then we saw a woman ON A WALKER deadlift! She had to be helped up to the stage, then bent over, and pulled the weight right up! Lol Wow! These old people were AWESOME! I hope I still have energy and drive like they do when I get older. The day of Sulli’s meet rolled around and I went down stairs to meet him. Phone…check. Camera with video recorder…check. Sulli ended the meet doing awesome! He even got ANOTHER state record!! Each time he lifted, I stood at the front of the stage and played paparazzi lol He won a sword that we ended up having to have shipped back home lol I know I’ve said this time and time again, but I’m serious…watching him do what he loves motivates the heck out of me. It makes me so proud! Overall, Reno was a blast! We had great food, great company, and he got another record! What more could we ask for? Lol Thursday evening we flew back home, and then we left out again on Friday morning to drive to Austin. (Yes, I know, we had a very busy week – lol) Sulli and I met my grandpa for breakfast at Cracker-barrel and then we got on the road. Road tripping with Sulli is always fun, and VERY entertaining lol Sulli had told me that Friday night and Saturday night we needed to pack kind of dressy/casual clothes, but me being a typical girl hated everything I had packed with me. You know what this means…Lol SHOPPING!! Sulli followed me in, around, and out of stores for a few hours, and we finally got me an outfit for Friday night. Later that night, we went to a steakhouse called Bob’s and I kid you not, that was the BEST steak either of us has EVER had. We want to go back ASAP! Lol Saturday morning rolled around, and we hit up Round Rock Donuts. If you’ve never had a donut from Round Rock Donuts, you’re missing out on life! Seriously! Next, we went to the Round Rock Outlet Mall and went shopping some more – I had to have another shirt for that night…darn! ;) lol Once we had shopped ‘till we dropped, we had lunch and then took a nap. I woke up, got dressed for the night, and we left the hotel once again – only this time, I wouldn’t return the same as I left. Sulli took me to a place in Austin that is extremely special to both of us and started having a pretty serious conversation with me. With my eyes getting watery and my breathing getting heavy, I felt my heart start to race. I though in my head, “is he about to…is this real…is this about to happen…why is he saying all of this…omg, omg, omg!” Sulli dropped to his knee and asked for my hand in marriage. OH. MY. GOD. I started bawling as I saw him on one knee, took in everything he had just said to me, and watched him open up a black velvet box. I saw my entire future flash before my eyes, and tears were all that I could get out. Literally, I had to shake my head yes for a good couple of minutes before I could get the words out…YES!! As Sulli stood up, I heard a familiar voice yell out from somewhere behind me, “well…what did she say?!”SULLI’S BROTHER!! Omg! He had the whole entire thing planned! His whole family and my whole family came walking up to us, filming videos, taking pictures, and clapping! And me…well, I just cried some more lol Sulli and I have been together for 3 and a half years, and we have been through quite a lot. He has seen me at my absolute worst, and has seen me at my best. We’ve pushed each other and supported each other in ways that I honestly didn’t even know was possible. Our relationship has never been stronger than it is today, and I know that it will only continue to grow. Sulli is the greatest gift that God could have ever blessed me with, and I’m really not quite sure what I did to deserve him as my partner, my other half, and my future husband. I found my very best friend, my number one supporter, my rock, and the love of my life 3 and a half years ago, and now I get him for life – what a blessing! So, there it is…that’s what has been going on in my busy life over the past couple of weeks; I had 23 people drive to Austin to support me as I competed in my first ever figure competition and got 3rd place out of 38 girls AND I qualified for Nationals, we took a trip to Reno, NV, we played in the snow and took pictures at Lake Tahoe, Sulli won ANOTHER state record, we had some great food and relaxation, we went to Austin, and the icing on the cake – and best thing that’s ever happened to me… WE GOT ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!! Like I said in yesterday’s blog, I’ve got much more planned, and I’m nowhere close to being through… Stay tuned <3 11/9/13 <3 So…I know it’s been quite a while since I last wrote on here, so we’ve got a lot of catching up to do! Ok…Halloween night I had my last workout before the competition. Sandy had me do sort of an all-over body pump up. My energy on Thursday was really good, probably because I knew how close the competition was! Lol After my workout, I went to meet my mom and Sulli’s mom for some pre-competition pampering at a nearby nail salon. We had a really good time visiting and getting our toes done! Once I left the nail salon, I headed back over to Monster Gym for my first ever fitness photo shoot with the amazing Steve Brack. We had a lot of fun taking my pictures and Sulli even got in on a few. Later that night, Steve posted a sneak peek of the shoot on Facebook and my newsfeeds started BLOWING UP! The shots were AWESOME! I couldn’t even believe that was me in the pictures. I honestly think that me seeing those pictures was the first real time that I have seen myself the way that others do. It was the first time that I could really understand what people were saying when they told me how far I had come – I shocked even myself. What an awesome feeling! Friday morning, Sulli and I were packed and ready to go. We loaded the truck and headed out to Pflugerville, TX. Of course along the way to Pflugerville we had to stop quite a few times…to potty, to warm up my meals, etc. So…one of my most favorite treats ever is peanut butter fudge…well, with one day to go, cravings out of control, and on our first stop of the trip at a gas station they had a “Home-made Fudge” section. OMG! I was like…really?!! Ugh! Lol I survived the gas station and got out of there as quickly as I could. We arrived in Pflugerville and check into our hotel. It was really kind of cool how close the surrounding hotels were, because whenever I needed to tan or get my hair and makeup done, all I had to do was walk out and go next door to the other hotel. My first tanning appointment with Team TX Muscle was at 12pm and wasn’t even an hour after we had checked in. I walked into the tanning room and the smell was undeniable…spray tanning doesn’t smell the best lol. I went in for my tan and came out like 20 shades darker than when I had first went in. I remember going back to the hotel room, lifting my shirt to show Sulli and I said, “ummm…I can’t imagine getting ANOTHER coat of this stuff…I’m SO DARK!!” lol He laughed and agreed! 2pm was my next appointment time, and by the time I got back to the room, I felt like my skin was black. Lol Not literally, of course…but EXTREMELY dark…way darker than I have ever been. I caught myself many times looking into the mirror, lifting my shirt, and checking out the tan. It seemed like the more time that passed, the darker it got. It was really pretty cool to see how it really showed off my muscle definition though. I can definitely see why it’s a must that you get professionally tanned…there’s no way in heck I would ever try to do that by myself! Ok…so, let’s talk about “living” with this “glorious” tan. The tan comes off everywhere your skin touches, so you have to be extremely careful with what you’re doing, where you’re going, what you’re touching, how you wash your hands, what clothes you wear, etc. Sounds like a pain right? It kind of is. On my instructions sheet it said that I could wash my hands, but the palms only. Ummmm, have you ever tried to wash only the palms of your hands? It’s nearly impossible!! Oh also, I couldn’t sleep in the sheets or comforter at the hotel for fear that I would stain them, so I brought my own pillow case and blanket, and basically wrapped myself like a burrito. Not so fun lol Friday after I had gotten both of my spray tans, I went over to get my hair “pre-curled” by MLN makeup Artistry. Corina, the hair stylist, had told me that my hair definitely needed to be pre-curled that night before the competition, so that it would be easier to fix the next morning. When I heard this, I thought, ok cool…I’ll go to the Athlete’s check-in, then get my hair pre-curled, then go get dinner. Well…I didn’t realize when she said pre-curl that she mean like curled on the top of my head, and bobypinned up lol basically, I ended up eating in a restaurant that night with Sulli and 2 of our guy friends, wearing super baggy clothes (because of the tan), with a tan body and a ghostly white face, and my hair all bobypinned up on the top of my head. I caught quite a few stares that night lol Oh well. Competition Day!! Saturday morning rolled around (FINALLY) and I had my hair and make-up appointment at 6:30am. I walked into the room and Corina started busting out laughing! She said, “Well someone slept good!” lol Apparently I had tossed and turned all night and my hair was a mess lol I had bobby pins hanging out EVERYWHERE!! Lol Melissa, the make-up artist began on my make-up and I was really nervous. I’m not a really big make-up person. I mean, I wear it, yes, but I wear mineral powder and eye make-up…that’s about it. Nothing like I was about to get lol Melissa suggested I wear red lipstick…BOLD CHOICE I thought lol but I agreed and we went for it. When Melissa was done, I looked in the mirror and was completely shocked! I didn’t even look like myself! I felt so beautiful! I absolutely loved the make-up! Melissa is AMAZING!! Next was hair…Corina and I laughed some more at how crazy my hair looked and then she got to work. When she was done, and I looked in the mirror at the whole package, I felt one thing…AMAZING! That hair and make-up was “sassy” and that’s just how I needed to be that day! Lol I walked over to the hotel, where I went to see everyone that had come to watch the show – they were all in the breakfast area and when I walked in, I was shocked. There was a sea of red shirts! I was kind of confused and then I realized what had happened. My mom and Sulli had shirts created for everyone - I mean every single person who came to watch me had one on! It was so cool and extremely thoughtful! Also, it made them really easy to see from the stage later on lol Sulli drove me over to the competition, told me good luck, and gave me a kiss. I hopped out of the truck and went to check-in and get my number. Ok…for anyone who knows me knows that I’m REALLY weird about numbers…and I HATE odd numbers – at check-in, I was give the number 83. Normally, I would’ve been freaked out by this (yes, I know I’m weird), but for some reason, I just wasn’t – which was a big deal for me. After I got my number, I went backstage to sit and wait. Walking backstage was like walking into a something I’ve never been in before. There were people everywhere. All down each hall were girls and guys sitting, eating, talking, listening to music, etc. Everyone was all tanned up, and seemed to only be concerned with how they looked. I should’ve counted all of the mirrors that were backstage that all of the girls crowded around. Oh…I can’t forget the haze of hairspray that I had to walk through every time I got up lol After being back stage for about 20 minutes, I got a text from Sandy telling me that I didn’t have to stay back there, to come see her and Nate. THANK GOD!! I gathered up my stuff as soon as I could and headed out into the auditorium. Nate and Sandy monitored me throughout the entire morning, feeding me certain things, telling me how to pump up, etc. Finally it was time to step on stage! I had no clue how many girls were actually in my category until we were lined up back stage about to walk out. 38. 38 other girls were in my category. WOW! One by one, I watched each girl ahead of me walk on stage, hit her model poses, then move to the side of the stage. I remember Sandy telling me that the day of the competition, I would be nervous, and I honestly thought the nerves would kick in too, but they never did. Right before it was my turn to go on stage, Romans 10:11 popped into my head – “Those who believe will not be disappointed.” #83…GO TIME. I stepped out onto that stage with this confidence and this attitude that I can’t even really explain. I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t nervous, I wasn’t worried…I WAS CONFIDENT! At that moment, I knew that I had finally reached my goal…I could officially say that I was a figure competitor. Down about 47lbs from January, and in the absolute best shape of my life, I knew I looked good – not only good though – I looked like I belonged up on that stage! For me to be able to have those feelings, and for me to realize that – that was all I needed, and more than I could’ve ever asked for. I nailed each of my model poses just how Kim taught me, and I headed back into line until everyone was finished. Ok…now it was time for the 1st callouts. Top 5 was about to be announced and I stood there watching as the first, second, third, and fourth girl were called out to the center of the stage. After the fourth girl was called out, it was dead silent. There was about a 2-3 minute pause before the head judge spoke again! During the time the judges were debating over the fifth girl, I remembered something that Kim told me – “Even when you think they aren’t looking at you, they are! Always keep eye contact and smile!” I did exactly what Kim told me and I could see a few of the judges keep looking back to me. I locked in on them and kept smiling away. “And…can we get number 83 to the center of the stage.” OH. MY. GOSH. MEEEEEE!! I was the fifth girl! I made first callouts out of 38 girls…in my very first ever competition. That moment right there made every single tear, every day that I felt like quitting but kept going, every grueling workout, every early morning cardio session worth it. I freaking did it! After callouts, they made the top 5 step towards the back of the stage and wait until everyone else had been placed. I got positioned towards the back of the stage and turned my head, Sulli! He is the only person I could see from the stage, and his face was beaming, just like mine! I gave him a huge smile and thumbs up! Lol Once everyone was off stage, they called us up once again and made us do our quarter turns so they could compare us all, then we exited the stage. I gathered up all of my stuff as quickly as I could and went straight to Sandy and Nate! Sandy jumped up and hugged me and we talked about how nerve-wracking that waiting was lol They were so happy for me, just like I was lol Nate then said the most amazing words ever, “Go have a cheeseburger and fries.” Ummmm….don’t have to tell me twice! Lol I went out front to meet everyone who came to see me and we all talked about everything that had went down and how crazy it was, and we took LOTS of pictures! Lol After all of that, the whole group headed to Texas Road House where I cleaned my plate! Not one piece of cheeseburger, or one French fry was left lol I thoroughly enjoyed that burger! Lol Once lunch was over, I took a nap, got my tan, hair, and makeup retouched, and then it was time for the night show – where I would actually be told what place out of 5 I had gotten. Honestly, at this point, I didn’t care what place I came in –I was honored to even be on the stage, and completely thrilled to be in the top 5…could it even get any better? Apparently so, because I ended up getting 3rdplace!! WOOHOO!! I earned a huge medal too!! Lol Everyone was so proud of me, and we were all were so happy! It was over. I had done it. Wow! It was an amazing feeling and one I won’t forget. I am so incredibly thankful for my Probody and Probody4Her coaches, Sandy and Nate who were awesome and gave me every single tool I needed to make it in that competition and I freaking did it. Team TX Muscle did an amazing job with my tanning. MLN Makeup Artistry worked wonders! All 23 people who drive to Pflugerville to support me mean the world to me. Getting a picture message from back home from Sulli’s brother of his kids wearing their “Mandie’s Crew”t-shirts, and knowing that he and his wife also wore them that day in support of me, because they couldn’t be there meant so, so much to me! Overall, this competition taught me more than I could’ve ever known about myself. I learned that I have a will-power that most do not have and that it’s not something to take for granted. I am an overcomer. When I truly give something my all, and I put it in God’s hands, I will not fail…I will NOT be disappointed. I have a passion for helping others feel good about their appearance and health. I am strong, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am independent. I love working out and feeling good. I am confident once again. I know that I control my mood, not anyone or anything else. I know that I have the BEST supporters in my life, and that Sulli will never leave my side. I have an amazing family. Most of all, I can truly say that I am proud of myself. A LOT has happened since I went on vacation, and it’s too much to write for one day, so I’ll be breaking it into a few posts in the coming days, and into next week. I will also be filling you all in on what my next steps are in terms of goals, so keep watch! I’m nowhere close to being through, and I’ve now got NEW goals to reach. WATCH OUT WORLD…I’M COMING FOR YOU!! Probody Coach, Nathan Probody4Her Coach, Sandy MY MEDAL & ME...lol After I received my 3rd place medal at the night show! So…I am now 3 days away from the stage! Here’s a little bit of what has been going on..
This weekend was great – I got a bunch of rest in and relaxed the whole weekend. Monday morning was the start of PEAK WEEK and all this week I haven’t had any cardio to do. All of the workouts this week are mainly “pump-up” workouts – meaning lighter weight, with a ton of reps! Monday, I worked legs and my gosh, my legs and butt were on fire! Yesterday (Tuesday), we worked biceps and triceps – and honestly, I struggled quite a bit to get through it. I feel like my pre-workout is barely phasing me at this point, and I literally felt like my body wasn’t going to make it through the workout yesterday, but it did! Monday and Tuesday seemed to drag on forever and went by so freaking slow, and today, although it’s still going slow, it’s a lot better than yesterday lol. I told my mom yesterday that I feel like a kid who is on her way to Disney World for the first time, and her plane got delayed! Lol I’m just so ready! Later on this afternoon I will train with Sandy from 5:30pm-6pm, and then I’m off for my nail appointment! Yay! I have quite a bit to do, beginning this afternoon; training tonight, nails tonight, tomorrow is a day full of cooking, meal prepping, and packing, then training tomorrow evening, pedicure appointments with my mom and Sulli’s mom , and then I have my very first fitness photo shoot tomorrow evening as well. I am super pumped about the nail appointments and photo-shoot…what girl doesn’t like to get pampered?! Lol As far as my energy levels, yes, they’re obviously down. The workouts are kind of a struggle due to all of that, but I power through them each afternoon. I know I only have a couple more days of training, so I’ve got to get the most out of them! On another note, my weight is being cooperative and I’m extremely thankful for that! My mood is good, but when you’re running low on energy, you’re not like over ecstatic or anything. Lol HOWEVER, today I am in a very good mood! Today is my last day of work, before I go on vacation for all of this. Woohoo! Since I will be so busy starting this afternoon, on until I get back, I probably won’t be posting any type of blog after this one for a while. If you’re FaceBook or Instagram friends with me, I’ll be posting pics and progress on there for sure, so that everyone can follow along. At this point, the only things I’m really feeling are ANXIOUS and READY! Lol I’m ready to do this thing! From day one during all of this, my goal was to be in good enough shape to stand on that stage come November 2nd, so on Saturday, that is honestly what I’m going to try my hardest to focus on. I want to make Saturday morning a time that I really sit back and reflect on what all I’ve been through, the trials, the struggles, the battling with cravings, the negativity that I got from so many, the positive thoughts and prayers that were constantly being sent my way, the people who supported me and stood by my side through the good and the bad, but most of all…I just want to feel proud of myself. I’m often my worst critic, but Saturday morning, I’m going to feel one thing…PROUD! Saturday, I’m going to focus on my stage package, on how my hair, makeup, and tan look…I’m going to focus on how I pose! My goal on Saturday is basically to own that stage when it’s my turn to get called out. I know that this is my first competition, and that it is a long shot to place in the top 5, so I’m not too concerned about that. I just want to have a good show. I want to know that I did everything I was supposed to – that’s all I can do – the rest is up to the judges. AFTER THE SHOW…I’m taking some time off to rest, relax, EAT, and watch my man CRUSH some records at the WORLD’S powerlifting meet. We’re going to have so much fun, and have both definitely earned this vacation time. Thank you all in advance for understanding me not posting from here on out, until I get back – I need this time for myself and Sulli. In closing, I seriously want to thank you all for being so supportive during this. The fact that I know people even read this blog in the first place has been that push that I’ve needed on certain days, and the kind words, & prayers have definitely helped too. I’m now over 40lbs down from when I first began this journey back in January, and this weekend I FINALLY GET TO SHOWCASE ALL OF MY HARD WORK! Woohoo! BRING IT ON! I’m ready to show the world, just who I am! :) “Whoever believes in HIM, will NOT be disappointed.” Romans 10:11 Alrighty…So as you all know by now, I took Friday of last week, and Monday – Thursday of this week off of writing on my blog with no warning or explanation to anyone. I don’t feel sorry for this, so I’m not going to apologize for it lol I needed to do that…for ME. Sometimes, writing the blog helps me, and other times, I feel like I feel added pressure or stressors from it. Last Friday and this week were “those” kind of days where I really didn’t feel like “sharing” anything with anyone, and I really needed to get my mind on straight and take some time to myself. However, with all of that being said – I’M BACK!! Last Friday was an extremely hard day for me; physically, mentally, and emotionally, it was honestly one of the toughest days I have had in a while and I was not in the mood to do ANYTHING! I got in my cardio, abs, hips & thighs that morning, but I struggled all day last Friday, trying my best to keep a positive attitude and to not waste too much of the TEENY bit of energy that I had before training. Friday after work, I headed to Monster Gym where I trained triceps with Nate, because Sandy had a new grandbaby born on Friday morning. Nate walked in the gym to find me lying on the gym floor, looking and feeling like complete crap. I pulled myself together, and we got through the tricep workout. Whew! After training, I went home, showered, had dinner, and crawled into bed to just relax and wind down. Saturday morning rolled around and I woke up feeling better, not much, but definitely better that I had on Friday afternoon. I made my breakfast, packed my meals, and ate while I watched TV. Once I had my breakfast in me, I felt my energy starting to rise and I was ready to get going! My mom surprised me on Friday afternoon, telling me that Saturday she was sending me to my very first Spa Day. I was so excited, happy, and overwhelmed by the generosity of my mom doing this for me – I have the BEST mom EVER. She told me that she knew I needed this Spa Day more than anything else she could ever give me – and she was exactly right! My mom’s exact words to me were, “I’m sending you for a Spa Day – you can warm up and eat all of your meals there, I’ve already asked. Your ORDERS are to go there, turn OFF your phone, lock it up in the locker, and RELAX your body AND mind.” YES MAM!! Lol I arrived at the Spa and was quickly taken into a back room where I was given an amazingly comfortable (way too big for me) robe lol I changed and went and waited in the lady’s lounge while I had my second meal of the day. A sweet lady named Barbara came and got me and told me she was taking me back for my 25 minute express facial. I’ve never had a facial before, but oh my gosh– it was awesome! After the facial was over, I went back into the lady’s lounge and waited a little while until another lady, named Sara, came in to get me for my 50 minute Swedish/deep tissue massage. Ok, the last couple of times I’ve gotten massages, I’ve left feeling good yes, but more annoyed than anything, because the massage people ALWAYS talk to me the whole time! How do you tell the people to be quiet, without sounding rude?! Ugh! Lol So…anyway, Sara came in and we started talking, she stepped out, I got on the massage table, and then she re-entered. Sara literally gave me the best massage that I have ever had. She went straight to the area on my upper back where my body was extremely tight and tense. She really dug deep and got out a LOT of knots that were causing me to have quite a bit of tension. By the time she was through, I felt amazing! I thought wow – that was awesome! However, my mom didn’t stop there. After my 50 minute massage, another lady named Rosa came and got me for a 25 minute reflexology massage, followed by a mani/pedi. I picked out a color of polish (deep for fall) and sat in the massage chair (I LOVE MASSAGES)!! I had never had a reflexology massage before, so I had no clue what all was really involved. All I knew about it, was that it was basically a foot massage. I was wrong – it’s so much more than that! The reflexology massage was AMAZING! So amazing in fact that I passed smooth out, sitting upright in the massage chair – I was OUT! Lol (Hope I didn’t snore!!) I woke up to Rosa looking at me, saying with a chuckle, “Is this helping you?” lol After that was over, she gave me an awesome mani/pedi and then I changed back into my FlagNorFail yoga pants and tank top. Walking out, I heated up my 3rdmeal, and I ate it on the way home. Saturday when I got back home, I climbed into bed and continued to give my body the rest that it needed. I know I seem to say that I need rest a lot, but it’s the truth. Over the last few weeks of competition prep, you feel exhausted – you lack energy – you crave things horribly – you’re moody and irritable – and most of all, you NEED to give your body REST! Sunday was another meal prep day to get ready for another week on the grind, and more rest! Lol So…This week…Monday rolled around and I’ve never felt better! Energy was at a whole new high, mood was freaking great, and hunger –pshhh…I got that in the BAG!! Monday morning I trained my client, got in my cardio, abs, hips & thighs, as well as my full back workout for the day - went home, went to work, then headed home. Tuesday morning, I hit the gym for more cardio, abs, hips & thighs, went to work, then met Sandy later on that afternoon at Monster Gym where we trained chest. Chest is usually my LEAST favorite muscle to train (unless I’m trying to max out on bench press or something – you know, I gotta try to keep up with Sulli lol). We did a lot of different exercises, but my most favorite thing we did was the downward cable fly. Whoa, that exercise really hurts! I was facing the mirror while doing it, and I could see all kinds of muscles popping out that I had never seen before. I have actual chest muscles! lol I could even see all of the cuts in my arm – especially in my shoulders! It was freaking awesome! Wednesday morning, same routine – cardio, abs, hips & thighs, and training lol Same ole, same ole. Wednesday afternoon, after work, I made my way out to my favorite supplement store, Nutrition Depot! I picked up some more protein and some “after competition” TREATS!! I bought 4 different flavors of quest bars for Sulli and I to share after the competition – while we are on our way out of town for him to lift at Worlds! I got White Chocolate Raspberry, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Double Chocolate Chunk and the one I can’t wait to sink my teeth into; CHOCOLATE PEANUTBUTTER!! I’m so excited to try those things out! I always see people on Instagram posting about Quest bars, so I knew I HAD to get them! They are all sitting in my room, on my dresser, patiently waiting for next weekend to be devoured Jlol Yesterday, Thursday, I didn’t have a client to train, but I made it a point to get to the gym early (by 4:10am) in order to do my cardio while a few of my friends were there so that we could chat lol Cardio, especially climbing away on the stair master, goes by sooo much faster when you have your mind somewhere else to occupy time! We chatted, I climbed my heart out, and then knocked out more abs, and hips & thighs, and then went home. During the last few days of last week, and last weekend, feeling kind of defeated, my spirits were at an all-time low. I have a daily bible verse app on my iPhone that I read every morning, and Monday morning’s verse was Romans 10: 9-11; “That if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart, one believes unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture says, whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” Now – I get these verses every single day, but for some reason on Monday, this particular one stuck in my head all day – not the whole verse, just the part that says, “whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” I couldn’t figure out why this stood out to me so much, but then it hit me – I’ve been battling with a lot mentally throughout all of this, wondering if things will fall apart, or go wrong for me with this competition – wondering if my body will do what it needs – if something will go wrong with registration – things like that…and then God gave me that verse. “Whoever believes in HIM will NOT be disappointed” wow – just like that, it was like he was telling me to CALM DOWN – to RELINQUISH CONTROL and to LET GO! That verse stuck with me so much that Monday evening, I wrote it on my mirror in my room and every single day before I leave my house, I say it out loud. Every single day this week has been completely and totally amazing. I have had not one complaint, not one break down, not one moment of weakness. There have been things thrown at me from every direction, however, nope – I haven’t let it affect me, my mind, or my mood. Case in point being this morning; I needed to be at the gym by 4:15am so that I could get all of my stuff in before I trained my client for the last day. Well, I rolled over out of a dead sleep, looked at my phone, and flung the covers off of me in a straight panic – it was 8:06am. Not only had I missed my own training, I had also missed my client, and was now going to be extremely late to work – I am usually pulling out of the driveway by 8:06am, not just waking up. I ran to the bathroom to put in my contacts, called my client (who is so incredibly sweet and understanding – thank you Jesus!), and stepped on the scale. My body has been extremely uncooperative these past couple weeks, but this morning, there was a break through. I am not exactly sure what my stage weight will be, and honestly, I don’t care – not that I don’t want it low, but because I have a peace of mind with all of this now – and I know that every single bit of this is out of MY control, and is instead in GOD’S control – so why worry about anything, when HE has had a plan all along that is far greater than any plan I could ever imagine?! I wish I could’ve made my stubborn self believe this a few weeks ago! Lol Anyway, even with all of that going on this morning – I am still in a freaking great mood and I feel extremely blessed. I am officially 7 full days out and I couldn’t be more excited! Later on this afternoon, I’m going to meet Sandy for our last “heavy”workout before the competition, and then I’m going home to spend some much-needed time with Sulli and my family! Rest! Rest! And more Rest are what’s on the agenda for the weekend – oh and meal prepping, of course lol Oh, something pretty cool happened today – I had a Scale-Victory AND a NON-SCALE VICTORY!! Remember me being so stoked about the size ½ jeans that I was able to fit into a couple months ago? Ok, girls…you know how when you first put jeans on out of the dryer and they’re all tight and you have to do that weird squat thing to stretch them out? Lol Well, these were “straight from the dryer, to the closet” jeans…and when I put them on today, they slid right up! Not only did they slide right up, they were BAGGY!! HECK YA!! Lol So, in conclusion to ALL of this mumbo jumbo, I am 7 days out – I am feeling extremely excited, but more anxious and ready than anything – I feel blessed – I feel a peace at mind over all of this – I know that it is all in GOD’S hands and NOT MINE – and I know that I believe in HIM, so I will NOT be disappointed! :) Until Monday ~ I hope everyone has a GREAT weekend! Spend time with your family and loved ones, people – they are the ones who will always be there for you. :) The size 1/2's bought a couple months ago!! :) YAY! |
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